It never ceases to amaze me how impatience causes people to almost totally lose their minds. Today when I was reading an article about the airline crisis in Europe and the utter pandemonium caused by travel delays, the outrage over “industry losses” and the possibly unnecessary grounding of flights, I kept wondering where the value of human life factors in. Just as I was thinking, “boy, isn’t anyone considering how tragic it would be for the families if a plane went down?” I read this line:

“It would be much bigger a catastrophe for us in case of any passenger plane crash.

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One morning I woke up with a crazy hankering for hash browns. So, like any red-blooded true American would, I headed to the kitchen to satiate myself. I grabbed my trusty olive oil dispenser (the kind with the metal tube on top), poured out a few lines into a skillet, turned on the heat, and walked over to the freezer to get my ‘tatoes.

When I came back, I saw this:

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Boy, talk about a shit job. Poor Owen. But seriously, I snapped this photo at a Quiznos somewhere in Mountainview . . . doesn’t anyone read over these things?

Dear California State University at Monterey Bay,

Can we please have sidewalks? That can be walked on?

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Are you a real Micheal Jackson fan? Then buy this shit. If you won’t buy this shit, you’re nothing.