Boy, talk about a shit job. Poor Owen. But seriously, I snapped this photo at a Quiznos somewhere in Mountainview . . . doesn’t anyone read over these things?

Dear California State University at Monterey Bay,

Can we please have sidewalks? That can be walked on?

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Are you a real Micheal Jackson fan? Then buy this shit. If you won’t buy this shit, you’re nothing.

Did you know that balsamic vinegar contains lead? I noticed an interesting little warning on my vinegar bottle yesterday:
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I just awoke from what I think is officially the dreamiest dream I’ve ever had. I’m writing it now while I still remember it. If any of you interpret dreams, maybe you can help me figure this one out.

It starts off innocently enough; I’m in Ohio visiting my family there. My uncle and cousin Bill decide they want to go play darts. I was stressed out because I’d forgotten my makeup (in real life I rarely wear makeup, I didn’t even wear it to my wedding) and I totally suck at darts.

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