Ouch.

It’s one of those moments where white people everywhere get really uncomfortable while we wait to see how the black community reacts. If they react negatively, we throw Chris under the bus. That’s what’s currently happening, but read his whole comment and see if that changes how you feel about his “d’oh!” moment:

You know I was trying to think about who he was tonight and it’s interesting… he is post-racial by all appearances. You know I forgot he was black tonight for an hour. You know he’s gone a long way to become a leader in this country and passed so much history in just a year or two. I mean it’s something we don’t even think about. But I was watching him and said “Wait a minute, he’s an African American guy in front of a bunch of white people and there he is President of the United States and we’ve completely forgotten that tonight”. Completely forgotten it.

I admit, it doesn’t make it that much better, but it does change the flavor of the statement. I don’t watch TV and have never see Matthews’ show, so I have no background knowledge by which to decipher the intention of his comments, but these words alone make an interesting point about how far racial relations have come in just the last year. Think about it; for over 40 presidents and 200 years as a nation we’ve NEVER had a president who wasn’t white and male. From the time slavery was ended in the 1860’s, it was a full one hundred years later before blacks could even ride in the front of the bus.

Most of us figured that we would eventually have a non-white president, but it was anyone’s guess as to how exactly the nation would react. In liberal areas we take for granted the advancements in race relations, but I’ve spent some time in the midwest and the deep south where, everyday, you hear things and see things that make your mouth drop open in shock. Therefore, to think that we’ve had a non-white president for a year without major ignorant rioting (unless you count the tea parties, and I don’t blame you if you do) is kind of impressive. Not only that, but conservatives are beginning to move from hating Obama because he doesn’t see America “the way we do,” an obvious euphemism to his race, to hating him because he’s a Godless liberal who wants to take our money and indoctrinate our children like every other Democratic president. When you consider the aforementioned century to get to the front of the bus, the idea that this fundamental change could happen in less than a year is kind of amazing.

Maybe Chris Matthews says a lot of racist stuff in general and my view of this comment would be different if I knew anything about him, but I think it would add a great deal to the discussion if we didn’t automatically vilify white people who talk about race in this country. The way he worded his statement was dumb at best, but in general I like to believe white people try their hardest to be “correct” in their thinking on race relations, and crucifying anyone who doesn’t say something in exactly the right way leads to a less open dialogue with more ignorance about race in general. Most of the “would be hilarious if they weren’t so sad” sound bites you see on the news are made by people who actually have no idea how racist they are. It seems incredible, but it’s true. Maybe dialogue, rather than demonization, would be a more effect method for the achievement of true racial equality.

The question bugged me, and I remember specifically thinking about it for a long time. I rolled it over in my head. Which one did I have? Then I looked over the options for the state program and it asked if I had purchased a specific plan (if so, which one) or if I payed into the general fund. If I payed into the general fund, how much did I invest, etc. It occurred to me that once in high school I’d won a scholarship for high test scores, and that fund had won me some interest over the years . . . perhaps that counted?

After trying to figure it out and being unable to, I decided to call an information line. The voice I spoke to sounded like a run-down shell of a human being which told me with a distinct boredness that the state program was basically the same as the private program, but run through the state. I said I loathed private insurance companies from the core of my soul, and I would like to give the state program a try.

If you follow my feed on facebook, you know I have a lot of crazy dreams. Mostly my dreams are about dragons, mad scientists or heroines on horseback who fly through a moonlit sky and save the day. This dream, though, was so real, and it felt like so many dull experiences I’ve had in my life . . . but when I awoke I realized it wasn’t real and never would be.

I admire visionaries like Dr. King who have seemingly impossible dreams of a better world, dreams they work toward in the face of unbelievable adversity, because I could never be like that. It’s not that I don’t have the strength to fight people or do things outside the social norm; I don’t have the strength to keep my hope alive in such a cruel world. Once, when I was a senior in high school, I stood up in front of hundreds of people at the local university and asked senator Fred Thompson how we could feel justified in demanding the disarmament of other countries when we are the only country to have used nuclear power on another nation during a time of war. I can stand up and speak out, but the thought of letting myself hope just for an instant that a much better world is possible and we refuse it makes me shudder. I hear about things that are happening in my country such as the recent supreme court ruling that allows corporations to buy congress, and it cuts into me. I feel like a battered and beaten runner who tries to keep moving even though suffering from brutal injuries.

Maybe I am simply not a big-picture thinker, and there are people in the world right now planning for a better America. Maybe before I die I will see a portion of my dream realized, but until then, I will say “I had a dream.”

It has gotten to the point where the pathos of the situation is running wild and we completely left logos and ethos in the dust. We can’t make just decisions without all three, so I say we all just calm the fuck down and eat some cake.

Like this wonderfully nerdy cake that Mike and I made for my husband’s birthday:

Over the past few months I’ve been having an interesting experience which has deepened my understanding of the world, human thought and especially American politics. Bush was elected president when I was too young to be thinking about right or left as metaphors for thought. In 2004, my first election was the presidential election and I endured a baptism of fire into the American political world. To loosely quote Hunter Thompson, I was part of a grand wave of good vibes which we all believed would simply prevail.

Well, we didn’t prevail, and for four more years I sang in the choir of discontent. Pithy anti-bush quotes galore, complete with all manner of closed-mindedness. After Obama was elected, it seemed like everything in the world would change and the “other side” would fade away in our triumph. But, the other side keeps going with their own “no-bama” pithy sayings and ignorance. While I’m obviously still somewhat liberal minded, I now realize the pointlessness of dogging a president relentlessly.

Don’t get me wrong, I think Bush deserved to be questioned seriously for his actions in Iraq amongst other things, but “serious questioning” doesn’t accurately describe the hedonistic revelry with which my liberal compatriots and I insulted the man. I think my point is maybe we need to all just grow up a little.

Today I had an interesting conversation. I believe this guy could be a nice person if he wasn’t a partisan jerk. People who get completely wrapped up in being either democrat or republican are a little scary to me; it seems like they would need an uncanny ability to completely deny reality in order to be all on board for one party or the other. Both parties are so full of douchebaggery that, in my eyes, even the “we’re not as bad as those guys” routine doesn’t really work. Don’t get me wrong; there’s nothing bad about having a little pride in your beliefs and, consequently, your political party. But at the expense of being a reasonable person?

The discussion in question happened on plurk. I was browsing random profiles when I saw a photo that caught my eye; it was obama juxtaposed with socialist leader, complete with corresponding quotes. The idea, of course, being that Obama is similar to a radical socialist.

I could go into my argument about why this image is ridiculous, but it doesn’t really matter. The important thing is that it is a ridiculous image which any critically thinking person (on either side) should be able to see through. But critical thinking takes a serious backseat to partisan loyalty, at least it has in this election.

Anyway, it was a long conversation, and at the end the guy I was talking with actually said he didn’t care about thinking. My mouth dropped open when I read that . . . I couldn’t believe a person would actually say that. He kept try to pin me as some kind of evil obama supporter (which I am . . . but that’s beside the point) and I kept saying that I only cared about critical thinking, wading through the bullshit, no matter what side you are on. To which he said, “Ah, thinking critically. Hope that works for you. I’ll worry about America and our constitution. You worry about thinking.”

Shocking, but true.

You can read the entire conversation here, but I must warn you, it contains deadly rays of stupidity.

It was while watching the Oct. 23 episode of the Colbert Report that I saw an interesting sketch about the National Hummer Club (beware, this site is ugly . . . almost as ugly as a hummer). The sketch was shot in the style of a serious film about conservation, with such notable quotes as “if we can save the hummer, we can save America.” But what really caught my attention was this gem, implying that driving a hummer is the epitome of American patriotism: “If that’s not patriotic, I don’t know what is.”

Of course, my first reaction to that is well, you’ve got no fricken clue what patriotism is, then. But after thinking about it for a while, I realized I don’t either. Patriotism hinges on what your definition of being an American is, and Americanism is almost impossible to define. (This is what I hate about not being able to turn my brain off– I watch a simple comedy sketch and it makes me contemplate the meaning of Americanism.) This is important because patriotism is a heartstring that gets yanked on constantly. People are always attempting to define patriotism in ways that will be beneficial to them, but it seems fundamentally wrong to me that a specific group of people should use love of country to control and isolate.

Republicans and Democrats will tell you that they are the true patriots, but how can one party be more patriotic than another? Ours is a two party system, so “love of country” would involve both parties. You can’t be patriotic if you hate half the people who live in your country! That’s not patriotism, it’s just party loyalty.

Some people will tell you that capitalism is patriotic. Those are the people who have been brainwashed by capitalists; quick, sell them something before they run out of money.

When I think of patriotism, I tend to think of the founding fathers and the freedoms they fought for, such as the freedom of speech and religion. In that sense, I suppose driving a Hummer is patriotic– it’s nothing if it isn’t a statement. Perhaps what I’m leaning toward is the idea that patriotism is open for definition in many ways, and it differs a little for each person. Therefore, next time someone tells you that “real” patriots are ________, exercise your freedom of speech and tell them to fuck off.

Until this moment I’ve never spoken publicly about my mom being gay because she’s not “out.” But I realized today that I have some very, very important things to say about being raised by a lesbian couple.

First of all, I’m not totally fucked up, I’m not a completely dysfunctional human being, I’m not an atheist, and I’m not gay. These are all things I’ve heard as being what happens to a person raised by a gay couple. I was never molested as a child, and neither were any of my friends. My upbringing was virtually no different from anyone else, except that occasionally my friends’ parents would discover my mom’s homosexuality and I would not be allowed to play with them anymore. At 9 or 10 years old this made no sense to me, especially since my mom seemed just like all the other moms. My mother always encouraged me to be myself, follow my dreams and love myself for who I am like all mothers should.

Today I’m a full time student at a university working on my bachelors degree. I’m married (to a man) and I plan on having children someday. I’m a Christian who goes to church 4 times a week (Wednesday night choir practice, Thursday night womens bible study, Friday night couple’s bible study, and of course Sunday) and reads the bible almost everyday. While Jesus never personally condemns homosexuality, there are several passages which allude to it as being wrong (though there is, of course, a significant amount of debate about the meaning of these passages). What Jesus does say is that it’s wrong to pass judgment on others: “Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her” (John 8:7).

The reason why I’m talking about this now is because there’s a proposition to be voted on in November which, if passed, would amend California’s constitution to forever take away my mom’s right to get married. I don’t think my mom wants to get married, but if she did, no one would have the right to take that right away from her. People have certain inalienable rights, and it’s a perversion of government to take away a person’s rights. Government is meant to protect rights. I don’t usually talk about political things, or take sides, but this is really important.

I believe most people support prop 8 because they don’t agree with homosexuality, and that’s fine. This is a free country and people have the right to their own beliefs. But you can still disagree with homosexuality AND vote NO on prop 8; it just means you’re not passing judgment. Only the Lord has the right to pass judgment; “judge not lest ye be judged” (Matthew 7:1). If what is written in the bible is true, then someday she may have to face judgment, but that judgment should not come from me or anyone else on this earth.

My mom is not a political issue, she’s just my mom. When I was little she would tell me stories at bed time. When I was in the third grade she dressed up as a pilgrim for our history field trip. When I was in the marching band in high school she came to the football games with me and kept me company. She is a real person who has always been loving, kind, caring and supportive of me, and now is my turn for her.

Is it just me, or is politics being treated more and more like some kind of reality TV game show? It seems like some kind of performance that gets consumed rather than a method for distinguishing the values of a leader.

For example, the kerfuffle over whether or not Obama really “sold” his being a Christian at Rick Warren’s questioning. I’m a Christian and I couldn’t give a crap whether or not Obama “sold” his “performance” as a Christian. What about whether or not he’ll fish the economy out of the crapper, or whether or not he’ll go to war? Religion is a private thing, and while I don’t think it’s impossible for a politician to be sincerely religious, I resent the way Christianity as played a a chip in the game. Perhaps I resent, more than anything, how people watch these performances and make judgments based on them.

Then there was that whole bit with Hillary not really selling her support for Obama at the convention. What more is she supposed to say than “I support Barack Obama for president”? Should she give him a blow job on national television? Then the pundits would argue about whether or not she swolled, or how much she spilled, and ultimately decide whatever the hell they wanted to decide about it.

It seems like it used to be more about “the issues” than it is now. Even when the politicians would lie about what they would do, at least they were talking about important things. Now it’s all about how good of an actor the candidate is. Do we really want a really good actor for president? Someone who lies with expertise? Honestly, I could hardly tell whether people on the radio were talking about the election or the Olympics.

Treating politics like the Olympics is extremely dangerous. This is not a game; this is real life, and we are playing with our lives.

Now, before you get all mad at Arnold, remember that this is what the voters wanted. His job is to enact what the voters want, and he can’t just do whatever her wants without the voters approval. Most people seem to think of California as being this wildly liberal state, but that’s not true. In fact, geographically, California is mostly Republican. Along the beach life is good, people love each other. When people get too far away from the water they dry out, start hating everything, and become Republicans. Sad but true.

Do I, as a bible-reading, Jesus-loving Christian think that gay marriage should be legal? Nope. I don’t think gay marriage, or any other kind of marriage should be legal. Marriage is between two people who love each other and God Almighty. In many ways I feel the government over steps its bounds when it begins to interfere with the ways in which people love each other. Love is God’s domain, end of story.

Since getting rid of the government’s tainted influence on the sanctity of marriage doesn’t seem to be a very popular idea, I am in favor of legalizing gay marriage. There’s a raging debate amongst biblical scholars on this issue, but those who read the bible carefully will note that Jesus himself never condemned homosexuality. Therefore, it’s not in conflict with my religion to be in support of gay marriage.

I’ve followed the dabate closely and it all boils down to fear vs. love. Someday I hold out hope that we’ll look back on this time in American history as the beginning of a breakthrough for human rights. Right now, however, there’s still a lot of work to be done.