Until this moment I’ve never spoken publicly about my mom being gay because she’s not “out.” But I realized today that I have some very, very important things to say about being raised by a lesbian couple.

First of all, I’m not totally fucked up, I’m not a completely dysfunctional human being, I’m not an atheist, and I’m not gay. These are all things I’ve heard as being what happens to a person raised by a gay couple. I was never molested as a child, and neither were any of my friends. My upbringing was virtually no different from anyone else, except that occasionally my friends’ parents would discover my mom’s homosexuality and I would not be allowed to play with them anymore. At 9 or 10 years old this made no sense to me, especially since my mom seemed just like all the other moms. My mother always encouraged me to be myself, follow my dreams and love myself for who I am like all mothers should.

Today I’m a full time student at a university working on my bachelors degree. I’m married (to a man) and I plan on having children someday. I’m a Christian who goes to church 4 times a week (Wednesday night choir practice, Thursday night womens bible study, Friday night couple’s bible study, and of course Sunday) and reads the bible almost everyday. While Jesus never personally condemns homosexuality, there are several passages which allude to it as being wrong (though there is, of course, a significant amount of debate about the meaning of these passages). What Jesus does say is that it’s wrong to pass judgment on others: “Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her” (John 8:7).

The reason why I’m talking about this now is because there’s a proposition to be voted on in November which, if passed, would amend California’s constitution to forever take away my mom’s right to get married. I don’t think my mom wants to get married, but if she did, no one would have the right to take that right away from her. People have certain inalienable rights, and it’s a perversion of government to take away a person’s rights. Government is meant to protect rights. I don’t usually talk about political things, or take sides, but this is really important.

I believe most people support prop 8 because they don’t agree with homosexuality, and that’s fine. This is a free country and people have the right to their own beliefs. But you can still disagree with homosexuality AND vote NO on prop 8; it just means you’re not passing judgment. Only the Lord has the right to pass judgment; “judge not lest ye be judged” (Matthew 7:1). If what is written in the bible is true, then someday she may have to face judgment, but that judgment should not come from me or anyone else on this earth.

My mom is not a political issue, she’s just my mom. When I was little she would tell me stories at bed time. When I was in the third grade she dressed up as a pilgrim for our history field trip. When I was in the marching band in high school she came to the football games with me and kept me company. She is a real person who has always been loving, kind, caring and supportive of me, and now is my turn for her.

Now, before you get all mad at Arnold, remember that this is what the voters wanted. His job is to enact what the voters want, and he can’t just do whatever her wants without the voters approval. Most people seem to think of California as being this wildly liberal state, but that’s not true. In fact, geographically, California is mostly Republican. Along the beach life is good, people love each other. When people get too far away from the water they dry out, start hating everything, and become Republicans. Sad but true.

Do I, as a bible-reading, Jesus-loving Christian think that gay marriage should be legal? Nope. I don’t think gay marriage, or any other kind of marriage should be legal. Marriage is between two people who love each other and God Almighty. In many ways I feel the government over steps its bounds when it begins to interfere with the ways in which people love each other. Love is God’s domain, end of story.

Since getting rid of the government’s tainted influence on the sanctity of marriage doesn’t seem to be a very popular idea, I am in favor of legalizing gay marriage. There’s a raging debate amongst biblical scholars on this issue, but those who read the bible carefully will note that Jesus himself never condemned homosexuality. Therefore, it’s not in conflict with my religion to be in support of gay marriage.

I’ve followed the dabate closely and it all boils down to fear vs. love. Someday I hold out hope that we’ll look back on this time in American history as the beginning of a breakthrough for human rights. Right now, however, there’s still a lot of work to be done.