I awoke this morning from an interesting dream. I was filling out some kind of long, cavernous form and I got tripped up by one question: “Do you have private health insurance or state health insurance?”

The question bugged me, and I remember specifically thinking about it for a long time. I rolled it over in my head. Which one did I have? Then I looked over the options for the state program and it asked if I had purchased a specific plan (if so, which one) or if I payed into the general fund. If I payed into the general fund, how much did I invest, etc. It occurred to me that once in high school I’d won a scholarship for high test scores, and that fund had won me some interest over the years . . . perhaps that counted?

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Lozenge. Lozenge. Lozenge.

I just love that word! I could sit and say it to myself for hours. Well, I could say it to myself for minutes. It’s fun to say. Say it out loud, for yourself, right now. Let it roll off your tongue slowly and enjoy it.

Laaaahhhhhhzzzzzzeeehhhhnggge.

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from wikipedia

I heard a loud sound like a car horn, and turned around to realize I’d been standing in the middle of a parking lot without a clear idea of for how long. After having left the grocery store I remembered hearing the sound of an incoming text, and without thinking I’d stopped to dig my phone out of my purse and respond. Then, out of habit, I checked my email. There I found a couple notifications from facebook, but before I’d finished reading the sound startled me and I realized I was standing in the middle of the road. I scurried out of the way and realized for the first time how strange it is that tech savvy people these days live lives which are physically divided– real life and virtual life. I was cognizant for the first time of the look that must have been on my face, and ever since then I’ve been seeing that look everywhere, like their real-life body has been put on pause while they live their life in another world. I’ve grow a nasty habit of staring at these people and wondering if they know how strange they look.

Ever since watching Lain, one of the most mind-screwy animes ever conceived, I’ve been having these troubling thought experiments about the meaning of online existence. For example: lets say a person lives a profound and influential life in the virtual world but nowhere else. They never leave their home, never meet people in person, but online they accomplish a great many things. This is a though experiment, but certainly not impossible, and becoming more possible all the time. Can that person be said to have lived a meaningful life? I suppose that question is fundamentally unanswerable as the definition of a meaningful life is subjective, but it’s a fun question to ask.
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Boy, talk about a shit job. Poor Owen. But seriously, I snapped this photo at a Quiznos somewhere in Mountainview . . . doesn’t anyone read over these things?

I would like to say something, once and for all, to the entire world. Something that’s been on my mind for years. I cannot keep my silence any longer.

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