No more single men
February 26th, 2009feminism, marriage, men, rants
WARNING: what follows is me being stereotypically female. I hate being stereotypically anything, but I was having these thoughts so I figured I’d post. That is all. Well, that is all for this intro I mean . . . well, I guess not really if I’m still typing . . . I mean . . . FUDGE
I love being married. I love my husband. Being married, for me, has been one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
There’s only one thing.
I hate meeting cool, single guys at school who become my friends only to stop talking to me when they meet someone single. Most of the time I brush it off, but every once in a while it’s a real bummer. I understand how hanging out with a married woman is probably not a high priority for a single dude looking for a girl. I totally get that. But don’t tell me how cool I am and how neat it is to talk to me, then totally forget I exist when a single girl says hello. That’s kind of . . . you know . . . fucked up, as they say.
I have several male friends that I’ve known for ages who seem to only call me up when they’re single. It’s natural that a person would rely more on their friends when they’re not investing so much time in a significant other, but this behavior seems to only happen with my male friends. My female friends call me the same amount regardless of what’s going on. What’s up with that? Am I justified in feeling a little used, or am I over-reacting?
This feeling of being shoved aside for something better has so affected me that I almost never talk to single guys at school anymore. But, on general principals, I don’t believe in the concept of avoiding an entire group of people just because you’ve had a few bad experiences, and not all single men treat me like I’m a consolation prize. I have some awesome single male friends that I talk to regularly, but they tend to either be in a completely different age group or live across the country. I can’t think of a one single male friend that I talk to regularly who’s around my age and lives near me . . . hrmm.
Which is funny, because before I got married I was swimming in single male friends my age who lived near me. Even when I was engaged with my husband. Now . . . not so much. Now that I think of it, those single male friends who used to only call me when they were single haven’t called in a while.
Well, hell.
/end rant
Aww, now I want to cry T_T. I tend to not call much of anyone these days, work kinds of swallows my life like that you know. And I know you’re busy with school. Not to mention I don’t think you’ve returned any of the ever so few calls I’ve made to you. XD Not that really has anything to do with it. Plus I’ve always enjoyed talking with you when I’m over (which is rarer and rarer these days) but now you’re busy with school stuff, so that’s how it goes. I think I’ll be over there in 2 weeks or so, not exactly sure at the moment. Oh well, see you around.
Mike
Awe mike! I wasn’t talking about you, just so you know. You’re the best. But, you do still need to teach me how to make sourdough bread, you know ^_^
Not talking about me? “…cool, single guys who become my friend…” So either I’m not cool, or a guy, how cruel T_T XD <3 Yes, well in two weeks I think we’ll be back at Phil’s and I’ll have to remember to take book, and figure out what to cook myself. If only there were more time.
Having had many single male friends in my time who have stopped talking to me completely after I hit the year mark with my boyfriend, I know your frustrations. Being a bit stereotypically female myself right now, I think that if you’re single and you don’t want to be single (or just want to get laid) people will generally spend more time with people who are or could be available to them. You, being married, or any woman in a serious relationship, is not emotionally or physically available for them, so they see other people who could be and invest their time in them instead.
Well, my excuse is I moved rather far away. I’ll be back in town the last weekend of June though!