Like most americans, my childhood was filled with thoughts about this magical day wherein I could open all my presents and the wondering what they were would finally be over. There was such a buildup, such an incredible excitement, then days of glow while messing with all the new junk I acquired.

As I got older and grew to loath consumerism, the magic of Christmas wore off for me. Consumerism is like a kind of modern Robin Hood tale where retailers steal from the poor and give to the rich.

I was going to write a ginormous post about the history of consumerism and the environment, but if I’m already tired of writing it then surely you’re tired of reading it. I’ll say simply this: I don’t want anything for Christmas this year, or ever. I don’t need any more things, I have way too many things already. I wish I had fewer things. The only thing I care about doing on Christmas is celebrating family, friends and Jesus. I don’t need a bunch of stuff. Of course, such is the ingrained nature of the “X-Mas Spirit” that I said the same thing last year and still got presents. By the way, I can’t stand it when people say “Merry Xmas.” If you want to celebrate and you’re not a Christian, say “Merry Winter Solstice” or “Merry a million other pagan holidays that happen this time of year” instead. Saying Xmas is pretty offensive to some people.

Anyway! I sure am in a bitchy mood today. Well, Merry Christmas!